It's been awhile...

I'm not sure why I haven't been on here in so long. I guess I have been just dealing with life. I am riding my motorcycle as much as possible. I am totally addicted to it. I am so glad that I went through with the class too. There is nothing like riding a bike...the whole wind in the hair thing is soooooo true.

When I ride, I am able to forget some of the craziness of my life. I am able to just relax. I love to ride to reset myself. I am learning how to just be. I am learning how to not dwell on the negatives in life and enjoy the positives. I am learning how to deal with all of it without over-stressing myself.

I love the attack on my senses when I ride. I see things that I would have never have seen. I get to enjoy all the smells. The way my skin tingles with the wind hitting it. I was riding home yesterday and I was able to smell a fireplace burning and at the same time see a house all lit up with Christmas lights and decorations...

I am trying to reconnect with friends. I had a great birthday. No, I didn't get a lot of gifts and stuff this year...I got a night out. Thank you to my mother for son sitting and to my friends that were able to come out with me. It was fun. I want to have another night out again soon.

I guess I should go take care of the boy for a bit and clean this house. I am sure I will be on again soon...

Until next time....Live life as if there was no tomorrow

Hmmmmm....

I am getting old, I am fat, I am broke, but I am determined to be happy. I know this sounds harsh and like I am down on myself, but I'm not. I am speaking the truth. I figure that I need to just admit to myself that I am not in my twenties anymore. I am never going to have the figure I had before I had my child. I will never have alot of money. I do have a great husband and an amazing child. I have a great family that has always been there for me.

I realize that I have lost what few friends I had. I guess I just isolated myself too much. I am trying to reach out, but sometimes feel like it is a waste of time. I refuse to give up though.

Well enough of that... I got my motorcycle and within a week I have started to learn to ride and learned how to lay it down. Thank goodness the bike and I have minimal damage. I love the feeling of riding though. I am hoping to be able to actually go further that my street soon.

I am still looking for work. I am thinking of just doing something part time. I would like to have that extra money again. I'm afraid that if I go back to work full time, I might start hurting again.

My pain has been lessened since I have been out of work. I feel alot better as far as that goes. The hardest part of adjusting to being a housewife is getting my house clean and keeping it that way. I am not sure why this has been so difficult. I guess because I let it go for too long because of the pain I was in, and now I am trying to catch up.

I would love to know if anyone reads these things...They are mostly for me to vent, but I get curious...

Well, until next time...

Oy vay...lol

Things have been pretty slow around here. I will say that I think we have decided to wait until at least next spring to think of moving again, well unless the right job opportunity come up before then.

I spoke to my attorney and they adjusted their take. This means I am getting a bit more. I still don't think I am getting enough, but how do you really put a price on sanity. I am glad that this will all be over soon.

My son seems to be doing okay with the homeschooling. There are some things we will have to work on, but mostly he seems okay.

I am still in a battle for my unemployment. It is with the Board of Review now...has been for several weeks now. I don't see why they would deny something that the employer is not contesting...I just don't get it.

I think I am going to get a motorcycle this week. I have signed up for a riding class. I have never controlled a bike myself. It makes me a bit nervous, but I am also sooooo excited. This is something I have wanted to do for a very long time.

I am also going to plan a girls night out. I have several female friends that I have not seen in a long time. I just hope I can get it planned out and people actually show up.

I know I have been jumping from one thing to another. I just wanted to update a few things. I will do better next time around.

Until then, remember to love, laugh, live!!!!

Where to go from here...

Well I really don't know what to do now. I was the victim of a crime a while back and now the settlement seems to be just a slap in the face. I don't want to go to trial because I hate having to relive it all the time, but the amount of money the attorney gets is outrageous. I guess I should be glad that it is going to be over and that I am getting something.

We have been thinking of moving. I know we could come up with the money to move, however I worry about down the road. Would we be able to keep our heads above water several months down the road. I am not sure what we should do.

I am not really sure what to do. I guess we will figure it all out.

I hope that the people that read my blog are enjoying it, or at least getting something out of it. I am really enjoying being able to share my experiences. If there is anything you would like to share, please, please, please share it with me,

Til next time...

A bit of everything.....

I really like having this blog. I like having a place where I can just vent. I also want to be able to just share things that are going on in my life. I am at a place in my life where I am starting to realize my age...lol.

I had my first real serious boyfriend twenty years ago. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. I met this guy in my neighborhood while I was still 15. I would walk my dog just so I could see him. On my sixteenth birthday I was finally allowed to go out with him. We dated for close to three years. I thought at the time that he was going to be the one I married. I dated him until after I was out of high school. We went through a rough spell and never recovered. I have recently re-connected with him and been able to work through a lot of what happened. I am so glad that we can be friends now.

I am going through alot right now and I am not sure how to fix things. I know that I would like to get a life back for myself. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything. However, I have lost myself these last few years. I rarely get out of the house and when I get a chance, I have nothing to do or anyone to call to do stuff with. I am not sure what happened or where I lost myself. I am trying to rediscover myself but it seems like that is hard to do right now. I am going to keep trying though.

I am doing better with our diets around here. We all seem to be losing weight. I know that some of my clothes are fitting better. I just wish I could lose some of this belly fat. The drugs I was on for several years put alot of fat in that area and now I am fighting to get rid of it. I have cut red meat to a bare minimum and we eat alot of fish and chicken. I have also switched us to wheat pasta and whole grain bread. Sugar is barely used now as well. I am trying to do anything I can to help get G's glucose levels down and help us all lose weight.

I am also thinking of moving to Florida and trying to find a job. We have friends down there and they said lil G and I could come down and stay with them for awhile and look. I am seriously thinking about it. I don't know what else to do. It would be alittle crowded there, but we could all help each other.

Well, I am sure I will blog again soon about things...Until then...

Good things are coming, I just know it...

Well, what can I say? I guess prayer works. I have had a couple things happen over the past week that have helped big time. I asked for prayers and thoughts and it has happened. I still need prayers and thoughts, but at least things are looking up.

I am still trying to find work. I am not sure what I am going to do. I did appeal the unemployment decision...again. It is now with the board of review. Hopefully they will see the truth to the matter and go ahead and approve it. That would be awesome and would help so much. We should hear something soon...Here's to hoping.

I am also hoping to hear good news on another matter. I can't say much about it right now, but I am hoping to hear something good soon.

I would also like to say how much I enjoy facebook. I have been able to reconnect with so many people. I am also able to stay in contact with people I know and don't get to see very often any more. I wish I could see these people more. I want to have a get together but I am not sure who would even show up. I have let my life and friends get away from me. I am so sorry that I have let this happen.

I miss having people to talk to. I miss having people to visit. I miss having adult friends. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but sometimes you need friends.

I am still planning on having a girls night out or a get together of some sort. I hope I can make this happen soon.

I still need the prayers, so don't forget. Til next time.....

What am I going to do?

Wow, could anyone else ask for something I just can't give? I hate checking the mail because of all the bills. If I don't get my unemployment or a job soon, I think I will drown in all the debts. I am hoping to hear from the company that I did a first interview with.

My car is broke down and I don't know how I am going to fix it. The part we think we need is around $200 and we aren't really sure how to get it off the car anyway.

My dog had her puppies tonight. She only had four, thank goodness. I will finding them homes in about six weeks.

I am hating sitting around the house. I feel so helpless and hopeless. I hurt my back, so this last week has been a bit tough. I can't even go to the doctor because I have no insurance. My house is a wreck, I guess I know what I will be doing tomorrow.

I guess I am ranting a bit. I needed to get it out. I am sorry for those who hate sob stories. I don't mean to be so down this time around.

I am trying to stay positive though. I know things have to get better at some point. I know that at some point, something has to give. I know that eventually I will be able to have the girls night out that I am wanting to have.

You guys just keep us in your thoughts and prayers. My next post will be brighter.