It's been awhile...

I'm not sure why I haven't been on here in so long. I guess I have been just dealing with life. I am riding my motorcycle as much as possible. I am totally addicted to it. I am so glad that I went through with the class too. There is nothing like riding a bike...the whole wind in the hair thing is soooooo true.

When I ride, I am able to forget some of the craziness of my life. I am able to just relax. I love to ride to reset myself. I am learning how to just be. I am learning how to not dwell on the negatives in life and enjoy the positives. I am learning how to deal with all of it without over-stressing myself.

I love the attack on my senses when I ride. I see things that I would have never have seen. I get to enjoy all the smells. The way my skin tingles with the wind hitting it. I was riding home yesterday and I was able to smell a fireplace burning and at the same time see a house all lit up with Christmas lights and decorations...

I am trying to reconnect with friends. I had a great birthday. No, I didn't get a lot of gifts and stuff this year...I got a night out. Thank you to my mother for son sitting and to my friends that were able to come out with me. It was fun. I want to have another night out again soon.

I guess I should go take care of the boy for a bit and clean this house. I am sure I will be on again soon...

Until next time....Live life as if there was no tomorrow

Hmmmmm....

I am getting old, I am fat, I am broke, but I am determined to be happy. I know this sounds harsh and like I am down on myself, but I'm not. I am speaking the truth. I figure that I need to just admit to myself that I am not in my twenties anymore. I am never going to have the figure I had before I had my child. I will never have alot of money. I do have a great husband and an amazing child. I have a great family that has always been there for me.

I realize that I have lost what few friends I had. I guess I just isolated myself too much. I am trying to reach out, but sometimes feel like it is a waste of time. I refuse to give up though.

Well enough of that... I got my motorcycle and within a week I have started to learn to ride and learned how to lay it down. Thank goodness the bike and I have minimal damage. I love the feeling of riding though. I am hoping to be able to actually go further that my street soon.

I am still looking for work. I am thinking of just doing something part time. I would like to have that extra money again. I'm afraid that if I go back to work full time, I might start hurting again.

My pain has been lessened since I have been out of work. I feel alot better as far as that goes. The hardest part of adjusting to being a housewife is getting my house clean and keeping it that way. I am not sure why this has been so difficult. I guess because I let it go for too long because of the pain I was in, and now I am trying to catch up.

I would love to know if anyone reads these things...They are mostly for me to vent, but I get curious...

Well, until next time...

Oy vay...lol

Things have been pretty slow around here. I will say that I think we have decided to wait until at least next spring to think of moving again, well unless the right job opportunity come up before then.

I spoke to my attorney and they adjusted their take. This means I am getting a bit more. I still don't think I am getting enough, but how do you really put a price on sanity. I am glad that this will all be over soon.

My son seems to be doing okay with the homeschooling. There are some things we will have to work on, but mostly he seems okay.

I am still in a battle for my unemployment. It is with the Board of Review now...has been for several weeks now. I don't see why they would deny something that the employer is not contesting...I just don't get it.

I think I am going to get a motorcycle this week. I have signed up for a riding class. I have never controlled a bike myself. It makes me a bit nervous, but I am also sooooo excited. This is something I have wanted to do for a very long time.

I am also going to plan a girls night out. I have several female friends that I have not seen in a long time. I just hope I can get it planned out and people actually show up.

I know I have been jumping from one thing to another. I just wanted to update a few things. I will do better next time around.

Until then, remember to love, laugh, live!!!!

Where to go from here...

Well I really don't know what to do now. I was the victim of a crime a while back and now the settlement seems to be just a slap in the face. I don't want to go to trial because I hate having to relive it all the time, but the amount of money the attorney gets is outrageous. I guess I should be glad that it is going to be over and that I am getting something.

We have been thinking of moving. I know we could come up with the money to move, however I worry about down the road. Would we be able to keep our heads above water several months down the road. I am not sure what we should do.

I am not really sure what to do. I guess we will figure it all out.

I hope that the people that read my blog are enjoying it, or at least getting something out of it. I am really enjoying being able to share my experiences. If there is anything you would like to share, please, please, please share it with me,

Til next time...

A bit of everything.....

I really like having this blog. I like having a place where I can just vent. I also want to be able to just share things that are going on in my life. I am at a place in my life where I am starting to realize my age...lol.

I had my first real serious boyfriend twenty years ago. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. I met this guy in my neighborhood while I was still 15. I would walk my dog just so I could see him. On my sixteenth birthday I was finally allowed to go out with him. We dated for close to three years. I thought at the time that he was going to be the one I married. I dated him until after I was out of high school. We went through a rough spell and never recovered. I have recently re-connected with him and been able to work through a lot of what happened. I am so glad that we can be friends now.

I am going through alot right now and I am not sure how to fix things. I know that I would like to get a life back for myself. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything. However, I have lost myself these last few years. I rarely get out of the house and when I get a chance, I have nothing to do or anyone to call to do stuff with. I am not sure what happened or where I lost myself. I am trying to rediscover myself but it seems like that is hard to do right now. I am going to keep trying though.

I am doing better with our diets around here. We all seem to be losing weight. I know that some of my clothes are fitting better. I just wish I could lose some of this belly fat. The drugs I was on for several years put alot of fat in that area and now I am fighting to get rid of it. I have cut red meat to a bare minimum and we eat alot of fish and chicken. I have also switched us to wheat pasta and whole grain bread. Sugar is barely used now as well. I am trying to do anything I can to help get G's glucose levels down and help us all lose weight.

I am also thinking of moving to Florida and trying to find a job. We have friends down there and they said lil G and I could come down and stay with them for awhile and look. I am seriously thinking about it. I don't know what else to do. It would be alittle crowded there, but we could all help each other.

Well, I am sure I will blog again soon about things...Until then...

Good things are coming, I just know it...

Well, what can I say? I guess prayer works. I have had a couple things happen over the past week that have helped big time. I asked for prayers and thoughts and it has happened. I still need prayers and thoughts, but at least things are looking up.

I am still trying to find work. I am not sure what I am going to do. I did appeal the unemployment decision...again. It is now with the board of review. Hopefully they will see the truth to the matter and go ahead and approve it. That would be awesome and would help so much. We should hear something soon...Here's to hoping.

I am also hoping to hear good news on another matter. I can't say much about it right now, but I am hoping to hear something good soon.

I would also like to say how much I enjoy facebook. I have been able to reconnect with so many people. I am also able to stay in contact with people I know and don't get to see very often any more. I wish I could see these people more. I want to have a get together but I am not sure who would even show up. I have let my life and friends get away from me. I am so sorry that I have let this happen.

I miss having people to talk to. I miss having people to visit. I miss having adult friends. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but sometimes you need friends.

I am still planning on having a girls night out or a get together of some sort. I hope I can make this happen soon.

I still need the prayers, so don't forget. Til next time.....

What am I going to do?

Wow, could anyone else ask for something I just can't give? I hate checking the mail because of all the bills. If I don't get my unemployment or a job soon, I think I will drown in all the debts. I am hoping to hear from the company that I did a first interview with.

My car is broke down and I don't know how I am going to fix it. The part we think we need is around $200 and we aren't really sure how to get it off the car anyway.

My dog had her puppies tonight. She only had four, thank goodness. I will finding them homes in about six weeks.

I am hating sitting around the house. I feel so helpless and hopeless. I hurt my back, so this last week has been a bit tough. I can't even go to the doctor because I have no insurance. My house is a wreck, I guess I know what I will be doing tomorrow.

I guess I am ranting a bit. I needed to get it out. I am sorry for those who hate sob stories. I don't mean to be so down this time around.

I am trying to stay positive though. I know things have to get better at some point. I know that at some point, something has to give. I know that eventually I will be able to have the girls night out that I am wanting to have.

You guys just keep us in your thoughts and prayers. My next post will be brighter.

Ready for a new week...

I can't believe the weekend I have had. I actually had someone to watch my son both Friday and Saturday nights. That just doesn't happen...It's not easy to get someone to watch him one night. I actually went out. I got to see some friends that I haven't seen in a long time. I was hoping to see more people but due to circumstances that only they know, they never made it.

I think my son needed a break from me anyway. We have been together a lot since I lost my job. I hope this break helps him this week.

We will be starting another week of homeschooling. Things have been going pretty good so far. This week we will begin working on writing and some new subject matter. I think two weeks of review is enough.

I did something this weekend I haven't done in a very long time. I bought a dress and wore it out. I know it sounds silly, but I have never been a dress girl. It felt nice, looking pretty. I think I lost myself somewhere and I am starting to rediscover myself. I'm sure this will be an interesting journey. I think this blog will help with that too.

For now just remember that if you are always living for the future, you will never get there. The past is done and can't be undone. Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present...Live each day as if it were your last.

Argh!!!!!!

What a crock...the state denied my unemployment again...My former employer did not even participate in the hearing, they even told the lady that they were not contesting it. I just don't understand. I am going to appeal it again. Maybe third time will be the charm.

I did get a call from a job I applied for, an initial interview I guess. It seemed to go well. I am keeping my fingers crossed and prayers said. I would enjoy this job too.

My husband is doing better, finally. We have managed to get his blood sugar down some. Still alittle high, but better than it was. We are learning what to and not to eat. It is going to be tough, but we can do it.

I am getting back in touch with friends from my past, recent and further back. I love hearing how everyone is doing. I hate that I lost touch with so many people. I hope that I will be able to meet up with some of them soon.

I guess I am kinda rambling on but felt the need to update a couple of things today. I will let y'all know how things are going soon.

Where to begin...

These past couple of days have been a bit crazy. I don't even know where to start. I had my appeal hearing for my unemployment benefits Monday morning. They contacted my former employer and the manager said "We aren't contesting it". Then when asked if they were refusing to participate in the hearing, He said that is correct. What the heck? I am hoping that this works to my benefit and I finally get approved.

Then yesterday afternoon I had to meet with my attorney over an hour away. My car began acting crazy and on the way home...It shut down. I was about half way home and had to call for help. We guessed it to be the alternator and once my help got there we jumped it off. We did that twice. Then the third time we went to do it, the car started smoking and sparks flew. I guess it shorted out and now I have no power at all. I had to get a tow truck to come get it. We couldn't even put it in neutral...

One of my relative was robbed this morning...It was like the guy was waiting for her. She is okay, although shaken and will probably be a bit sore.

It is only Tuesday...I am trying to save positive... It is hard right now but hopefully things will turn around and get better.

I am sure there will be more to this story...but for now this is enough...

Not what we expected

Well, where do I start. My husband has been having stomach pains for several day. Yesterday it got severe enough to take him to the emergency room. The gave him some IV fluids and pain meds. They did a CAT scan and took blood and urine. After a very long wait the doctor came in to tell us the news. He said that he couldn't explain what was causing the pain but that they had found a couple of other things. He told us that they found a nodule on the bottom of one of his lungs that could be nothing. He told us that my husbands glucose was at 290. This is way too high and that my husband has diabetes. WOW...What in the world. My husband has never had a problem with is blood sugar. He gave us some scripts and off we went.

Today we went to our regular doctor and he confirmed it. G's blood glucose was at 202, which is still too high. Now it's time for a diet and meds to help drop some weight and hopefully this will bring his sugars back under control.

Diabetes...not what we were expecting. Now it's time to figure out how to lose some weight. We are all going on a diet. I just hope we can do it.

Almost time for school...

I cannot believe it is already time for school to start. Where did the summer go? We are trying the homeschool thing this year. I will be sure to update how it is going.

My son is very excited about school. He was so depressed about the thought of going back the the public school here. Now that he knows he gets to homeschool, he cannot wait. He wants to start tomorrow but I think we are going to give it another day or two first.

I am actually glad that he doesn't have to go back to the school here too. I was getting more and more frustrated with it. He is extremely intelligent but needed some help with his handwriting. The school said for two years that they would get him a occupational therapist to help him but never did. His handwriting problems also caused problems with the rest of his work. I have already purchased books and lessons to help him out. Of course this was just one of the issues.

The new ADHD stuff seems to be working well. There is one problem with it though...Gavin hates the taste. We are trying different options with it for now. I am thinking about crushing it and putting it in some yogurt. It's a chewable, so crushing it is okay.

I am now in the process of trying to find work. I lost my job of 6 years and I am not sure we can make it without some type of secondary income. I am trying to find something part time or online. Right now that is not easy. I am keeping my fingers crossed that something will come up soon. I have my hearing on my unemployment appeal next Monday. If that goes well it will help tremendously. We shall see....

Until next time...caio!

What a week...

Well this week has been busy and crazy. My son's birthday was on Wednesday and we have been celebrating everyday since. We didn't really get to do much last year so we made up for it this year. We took him out to lunch one day and he got a free sundae...yea, he was excited, but boy he got embarrassed when the servers started singing to him. We knew he wanted sushi so we took him Saturday night. He had a blast and once again he got a free sundae and this time he had to dance while they sung to him...funny funny. He also ate most of the sushi roll that he was supposed to share with his daddy.

Wednesday we did cupcake cones with my in-laws and Sunday we did cookout with my family. He got games and money and a gift card. I think he did pretty well. We also got a computer and riding mower.

We started my son on a more natural ADHD pill and so far it seems to be working pretty good. I am glad because we are going to start homeschool in a week or two. I am actually looking forward to school. I think he will do well and enjoy it more than the school he was going to.

I can't believe it is already time for school...wow. Well off to do some house work.

What a day...

Well, let me tell you how crazy yesterday was. I recently lost my job and I have been waiting to get my money from the 401k I had set up there. It came yesterday...yippee. My husband and I had decided that we were going to use part of the money to replace our desktop computer and try to get my father-in-law a riding mower.

We went out for some lunch and decided to go ahead and check out computers while we were out. We went to a local computer store and after an overload of information we decided on the pc to get. We were pretty excited about it, especially my son.

We had to stop and get animal food before we went home, so we decide to look at mowers while we did that...wow..I had forgotten how expensive those things were.

We headed home and about a block from our house we saw it...there, in all it's glory, was a zero turn Cub Cadet...and the price seemed impossibly low... We pulled in and there was another guy looking at it, oh no... He left and we had a chance to find out what was wrong with the mower. We couldn't believe that the mower worked fine, it just needed a pump replaced. If we let if cool off every so often though it would be fine until we get it replaced... We went to get my father-in-law (who was mowing at the time using a neighbors mower). He rode back with us and approved the mower as a great deal. We even managed to get the price down another $75.

Well, he rode the mower back to the house and finished his mowing with it. He is loving his new toy. We went home to set up the computer and low and behold...it doesn't work. Windows won't load and we didn't even get the install disks to start the process over.

I guess something had to give...lol. We are about to head back to the computer store (half and hour away) and swap the tower out. Hopefully the mower will prove to be a good investment.

I will keep an update going on both items...

Until next time....

Here we go......

Well, this is the first installment of my blog. I'm not real sure what all I will be talking about, but I am sure that over time is will get more and more direction. I wanted to have a place where I can talk about the things that I am going through.

I am hoping that maybe someone will benefit from this blog, or at least get a good laugh.

I am a 35 year old mother of a ten year old son. I am married to a law enforcement officer. I recently lost my job of over 6 years due to my medical conditions. ( I will get into that soon)

I welcome any input and ask that it just be honest.

Well, here we go....